Damian's Dbag holidays
by tavell-kun
Summary: It's the holidays and the members of Starbreaker are trying their best to enjoy it, But Damian, being the hateful person he is, can't seem to get in to the spirit
1. Chapter 1

author note

Yeah new fanfic! :3

anyways I think this is my first time writing for something not vocaloid or bleach related so tell me how I did.

It was the night before Christmas , well actually It was two days before Christmas and it wasn't night time but Christmas was coming and the members of Team Starbreaker were in the living room preparing for it in their own way. Zeo sat on the ground wrapping his gifts, Faust sat in front of their HDTV trying to figure out why kids want a fat guy to break into their house, Dr. ziggurat was threatening to take away Jack's make up If He didn't paint a large Jewish menorah, and Damian... well... Damian just sat back in a chair watching the stupidity around him unravel.

"Christmas time is for parents to me send money, lalalala la lalalala, so I can buy lots of gifts for friends." Zeo sang, wrapping the last of his gifts for his fellow team members.

"Shut up Zeo, you have no friends!" Damian coldly said, interrupting Zeo's song.

"I understand your all emo on the inside, but do you need to be depressing on Christmas?"

"Celebrating Christmas is for the weak minded, foolish, and anyone who acts like you." Damian spat with the intentions of starting an argument.

Zeo stopped his gift wrapping and turned around to face Damian.

" Damian there's one thing I think you should know" Zeo said, with the soft and caring tone of a truely nice person.

"What?" Damian asked.

Zeo took a deep breath and with a innocent look on his face he spoke what was on his mind.

"Everyone at HD academy knows the only reason you hate Christmas is because when you were kid your parents always put a Giant letter D in stocking on Christmas, then make jokes about you making Santa's D bag list." Zeo said, grabbing his gift supplies and leaving then room.

Damian was surprised to see Zeo, the nice guy push over of Starbreaker, show some kind of backbone and stood up to him. Damian was also surprised that the fox like blader was right about his past with Christmas and the dreadful letter D. Damian became engulfed in his thoughts, completely ignoring Jack's complaints about Ziggurat's unfair demands.

"Whats wrong with my master piece this time?" Jack asked with displeasure rolling off his tongue.

"whats wrong with it? Jack it has bird feathers and it looks like a drunken rainbow and a bulimic unicorn threw up all over it." Ziggurat said, with complete shock that Jack had to ask what was wrong with it.

"Yeah, whats wrong with that?" Jack asked, getting fed up with the doctor's pickiness.

"It's supposed to be a menorah!"

"Yeah it was a regular menorah at first, but then inspiration came and all the colors came bursting out and this happened. Jack said with over dramatic hand expressions.

"You know what Jack, I have a early gift for you" Zigurot pulled out a business card and a small stack of cash.

"What's this?" jack asked, taking the card and stack of cash.

"The number of a mental rehabilitation clinic and enough money for three sessions" ziggurat walked back to office, leaving Jack to be offended by the implication that he needed mental help.

"Wait, what is a D bag?" Damian asked aloud, and just as soon as he did a paper air plane flew into his lap. Damian unfolded the origami plane to see that it said " Douche bag" and he also took notice to Zeo's signature on the top of the folded paper.

author note

HURRAY the first chapter is done and the next should come soon. I'm so happy dreamlily talked me into making this fic cause I really needed to write something completely diffrent from my other works.


	2. Chapter 2

author note

here's the second chapter for anyone who is still reading this. In all honesty, At first I thought this was going to be an ignored, unfunny, piece of craparoni and cheese fic but I got some nice reviews on the last chapter so I'm going to keep with this fic for awhile.

It was night time, and most of HD academy's residence was asleep; but most only applied to a small amount of Starbreaker. Jack had fallen asleep easily after He used the money Ziggurat gave him to adopt a nest of wasps and hid them in Ziggurat's desk. Zeo was in the kitchen making "special" Christmas cookies, Faust was standing on the roof top of HD academy with Tempo ready to be launched at the first sight of a fat man, and Damian was trying to think of a way to get back at Zeo for calling him a D bag. How dare he talk about my childhood and that awful letter, Damian thought to himself as he walked through the pitch black halls. Damian continued his walk all the way into the kitchen entrance, but stopped when he noticed Zeo over three large trays of Christmas cookies, frosting, and a bag of green plants.

"I hope Santa likes my "special" cookies as much as Faust does" Zeo said happily, completely oblivious to the boy watching him.

"So you want Santa come do you Zeo, too bad you or anyone else aren't going to be getting a visit this year" Damian snickered, leaving the kitchen.

Damian had devised the perfect way to get back at Zeo and anyone else who had fun on Christmas day while he was stuck being called a douche bag. If he couldn't enjoy Christmas, then no one could and that's how Damian intended to make it.

"Faust, come here!" Damian yelled at the white haired boy.

"No, I need to destroy the fat man." Faust calmly said back.

"Yeah me too, that's why I'm going to go find him!" Damian was becoming less patient with his team member.

"But what if comes now?" Faust asked.

Damian was tired of humoring the larger boy, so he did what he always did when he needed someone to go somewhere with him. Damian walked over to Faust, holding something behind his back.

"Faust he's right there!" Damian pointing up at the empty sky to alert Faust.

"Were?"

As Faust looked up at the sky in search of his target, Damian pulled out an aluminum baseball bat and smashed it against the back of Faust's head, leaving him unconscious and at Damian's will. Damian dragged the unconscious boy into the spiral force powered jet. After a long wait of twenty minutes, Faust woke up in a daze.

"Where am I?" Faust asked, with a bit of anger in his voice.

"Your in a jet dumb ass" Damian said, sitting in the pilot seat.

"Why?"

"If You want to kill Santa you will; stay quiet, put Tempo in the engine, and go into the kitchen and take a tray of Zeo's "special" cookies cause I am starving.

Faust, at Zeo's expense, did as he was told and he and Damian were off to the north pole. In the morning Jack woke up peacefuly to the sound of wasps attacking a unsuspecting doctor in his office.

"Looks like the doctor needs to go see a doctor" Jack said, applying his make up.

author note

well Ihope this was kinda funny. Anyway I'm going to be starting a new sad fanfic about Hyoma. What I want to do is make him addicted to either drugs or alcohol but I can't choose cause he seems like he could bo both.

"

"


	3. Chapter 3

It was Christmas eve and all preparations for the snow white holiday were done. The halls were decorated, the "special" cookies were baked, and Damian hasn't been seen since yesterday morning and could have possibly been kidnapped; all was perfect. Zeo and jack were in the kitchen trying to bake a last minute apple pie, a very "special" apple pie.

"Zeo you put the pot in the pie whi..." Jack began to say, but was cut off by Ziggurat running through the kitchen, still being attacked by wasps.

"Oh my god! we need to help him!" Zeo said, grabbing a can of wasp killer.( it's a real thing.)

"Lets not" Jack said, grabbing one of Zeo' cookies.

"But he'll die if we don't help him, and He''s the only Jewish person at HD academy; If he dies then who's going to do the taxes" zeo was now pulling on Jack's arm in a desperate attempt to get him to help.

"Shut up and have a special cookie Zeo " Jack said, slamming a cookie in the fox like blader's mouth.

"Yeah cookies!" Zeo yelled, eating the illegal drug cookie and forgetting all about Ziggurat.

While Jack and Zeo enjoyed their Christmas eve, Damian and Faust had made it to the North pole and were making their way through Santa's work shop.

"Get in the Jet!" Damian yelled, trying to shove a tied up and beaten Santa Claus in the HD jet's door.

"You can't do this to me, I have a wife and elf's to take care of. Please let me go." Santa cried as he tried to weave his way out of Damian's hold.

"If you want to live to break into another child's house you will get in the jet!" Damian threatened, taking out kerbecs.

"But my work shop needs m... o...ow" Santa cried as Faust shoved Santa into the jet.

'And Santa don't worry about your shop, We put a bomb in it and it should go off i..." Damian was cut off by a loud bang.

"Never mind. Lets stop for Ice cream on the way back" Damian said happily.

"People will fi...ow!"

"Shut up raon deer rapist" Faust said, kicking the obese man.

Back at HD academy, Zeo and Jack had finished their pie.

"Wow I can't believe it actually looks good." Jack said, ignoring the cries for help in the other room.

"Do you think we should take Ziggurat to a hospital?" Zeo asked.

"Probably"

"Are we going to take him?"

"No"

Jack and Zeo began to stare at their pie for hours in complete silence.

author note

I had no ideas for this so I'm sorry if this sucked.


	4. Chapter 4

Author note

OK I'm back and i'm sorry it took me so long to update, I had writers block and I needed to update a different story.

It was Christmas morning and almost everyone at HD academy were exchanging gifts, but as always all most everyone didn't include team Starbreaker, who were missing two members; Damian and Faust. Zeo and Jack were sitting in the living room, waiting for their missing teammates.

After Two hours of asking for his gift and being told he would have to wait for the others by Zeo, Jack had become tired of waiting; and even more tired of the fox like blader "Zeo you are the dumbest, sickly sweetest, and least attractive person I have ever met If you think those two are going to come. just give me my gift so I don't have to be with you anymore." Jack said, expressing his displeasure.

"I'm going to ignore that cause I want to see us as friends and I don't give a shit if Damian gets kidnapped, ran over, or is sick and dieing in a small dark hole; but were not exchanging gifts until Toby is here.

"Faust? He's so slow in the head he probably wont realise It's Christmas until new years day and you can give up that thought cause we will never be friends. My Christmas just started not to suck when we put Ziggurat in hospital and now your ruining it.

~FLASHBACK~

"Is he going to be OK Dr. Hebrew Mcmoredollars?" Zeo asked, ignoring Ziggurats pitiful moans of pain (pronounced He-br-oo Mc- more- dollars)

"If you mean he's OK besides His Case of whiny bitch syndrome, then yes he'll be fine. I'm just curious to why you boys didn't help him sooner."

"Well at first I wanted to help, but Jack didn't want to so I was going to do it by myself but then Jack gave me this really good cookie." Zeo explained with a smile.

The doctor took notes of everything Zeo had said."So you let your legal guardian almost die, for a cookie?" the man asked with confused face.

"Before you start judging let Me finish telling you what happened. After I ate my "very special" cookie , I was going to spray him with wasp repellent, but before I could it Jack started watching this Lifetime movie and things led to other things and the next thing I knew Ziggurat was passed out" Zeo said, mentally laughing at the doctor because he didn't understand what a "very special" cookie was.

"What movie?" the doctor asked, still taking notes.

"Sad depression." Jack answered.

"Ahh... yes one of the millions of movies on lifetime about a woman getting raped, my wife told me about that. OK this is just a personal question, but what kind of things were you two doing.

Both Zeo and Jack were a little weirded out by the mans question."Like Zeo said, we were doing a variety of things." Jack said.

"It's OK boys, experimentation is with your friend is a normal thing for boys and girls." The doctor said, looking down at the two bladers who were shocked by his words.

AHHH I'M IN PAIN!

"You know If you give me permission I could take out his tonsils so he can't talk for a week."

"Yes!" both Zeo and Jack said simultaneously.

~END FLASHBACK~

"Zeo, remind me to put a wasps nest in Mcmoredollars office" Jack said, remembering the "experimentation" thing.

Zeo felt that things between he and Jack were getting to heated, so to take tension away he put on the TV. After looking through channels, Zeo stopped on a news report.

"An interview with Mrs. Clause has confirmed that Santa has been kidnapped, but with Na-no tracking devices, police have found the culprits of Santa's kidnapping and the bombers of his home" the TV showed an over head view of HD academy's roof top and jet. coming out of the HD jet were the two missing member's of Starbreaker and the kidnapped Elf.

"I found your friend Zeo" Jack said, pointing at the screen.

author note

OK I everybody I have some news. I feel that this should be a long er story than what I planned so I'm going to change the title and summary so instead of only being Christmas I'm going to do all the holidays.


	5. Chapter 5

Author note

OK I know what your all say "Hey he's not updating late this time, looks like I can call off that hit man" and I understand that and I am sorry. But anyway normally I would wait like four to seven days to get some good ideas, but I'm so happy lately I had to express it on this site before it was gone. If you must know why I'm happy ( you probably don't) read to the end author note.

PS

I'm changing the story's title to Damian's D-bag holidays tomorrow, sometime tomorrow just so most of you guys know I changed the title and changed the summary and didn't delete the story.

Zeo's stared at the TV screen in disbelief, as he saw his childhood friend drag the blood covered elf in to the building. "Jack took notice to Zeo's flabbergasted face and thought, that is the ugliest boy I have ever seen, well besides Rosy O'donnell.

Zeo shot up from his chair, with anger i his eyes it was obvious he was going to lash out at someone."This is Damian's faults, he probably tricked Toby into doing that to Santa!" Zeo yelled angrily.

After a few minutes of Zeo yelling empty threats and Jack just sitting back and trying to ignore them, Damian and Faust came in bursting in to the room; slamming and locking all the doors behind them.

"How could you brainwash Toby into doing something like this, Damian?" Zeo said angrily.

"First off I didn't brainwash him, just like everyone other child he was manipulated in to doing terrorist act by Christmas specials and sponge bob square pants, And second We need to hide Santa so shut up and open a closet Zeo. Damian replied, Holding Kerbecs to the Elf's head.

"No Zeo, your a good boy" Santa choked out.

Zeo looked at Santa as he spoke."Yeah Damian I'm a good boy, I would never hurt Santa"

Damian was loosing patience with his teammate and everyone but said member knew it. Just before Zeo could go on about how nice he was, Damian lost all the patience he had left."If we get caught by the police Faust and I both get sent to juvenile detention! Do you want your Friend to get caught by the police?!" Damian yelled.

"Well no... I don't"

"Do you want him to get inappropriately touched by other dudes at a juvenile detention?!"

"No!' Zeo began to get teary eyed.

"Do you want to keep your ipod!"

"No...wait... what!?"

"To late you said no It's mine now." Damian said, grabbing Zeo's ipod off the counter top next to him.

"Damn it, my ipod." Zeo said under his breath."OK I'll help" Zeo opened the steel door closet.

"You crazy bastard kids, my elf force will come and slit your throats in your sleep!" Santa cried, as Faust threw him in the closet.

Jack got up from his chair and interacted with his teammates for the first time since Damian and Faust had been back."OK now wh..." as Jack was going to ask what to do next, a loud mans voice blasted through the window, most likely through a megaphone.

"WE WILL SEND IN SANTA'S SPECIAL FORCES IN NEXT TEN MINUTES UNLESS YOU GIVE YOURSELVES UP"

Zeo's will to protect his friend had almost broken when he heard about the special force."Please Toby, Damian; just give yourselves up and make things easier on yourselves. Me an jack will come visit both of you." Zeo said.

Jack made a face of disgust as he herd Zeo's proposal."I'm not going to a juvenile detention, I herd people their do things to people like me." Jack objected.

"I'll visit you and bring you guys gift each time I come" Zeo Said happily.

"Zeo, if I get sent to away the best gift you can give me Is staying as far from me as possible" Damian said.

"YOUR TIME IS UP, WERE SENDING THEM UP TO GET YOU"

"Good by Damian, your memory shall inspire me to make amazing new pieces of art." Jack said, wrapping his arms around himself.

"WERE TAKING YOUR UGLY BRUNETTE FRIEND,AND THAT RED HEADED GIRL TO A NICE JUVENILE DETENTION WITH YOU."

"Damn!" Jack yelled.

"How bad can Santa's weird little attack force be" Damian said, And immediately after the large steel door leading to the roof was torn through by ten very large, hairy, and muscular elves.

"You jerks are going to start to Rue this day now!" Santa yelled from the closet.

"Who in their right mind says Rue?"Damian asked, staring at the large elves coming towards him.

"Wait, don't you keep your wasp nests in that closet Jack?"

"yeah"

"Ahh there are freaking bees in here!"

"Don't call them bees, that just makes them angrier!" Jack said.

author note

why I'm happy; OK yesterday I got 25$ and I wanted a pair of cool arm warmers just for looks, so I went to the mall of America. I looked in like three stores but they were all lame and had nothing I wanted, but out of the corner of my eye I saw a hot topic. In the past I would have said "gross only emos go there" but I wanted a cool pair of arm warmers and their merchandise seemed to fit what I wanted so I looked and found them. they were black long arm warmer with a side zipper ( for show only) and laced with a leather strings. and while I was there I found some cool stuff (like skull chains, cloths, and wolf tails) so now I have a new favorite store. And when I got home I found another vocaloid song I'm obsessed with, it's nostalgic by Meiko and I love it. anyway sorry for rambling about my life.

"


	6. Chapter 6

Damian, Zeo, and Jack stood in absolute horror at the sight of the large elves that were sent for them, specifically Damian and Faust. The only thing going through Damian's mind was "Does Zeo have a cell phone I can trick him out of?" And Faust was to busy in the kitchen eating Zeo's and Jack's pie. Jack knew if he didn't get out of there, he was going to face the horror of dropping the soap in the shower room.

Jack gently grabbed Zeo's arm walk him over to the group of manly elves before speaking. "Take Zeo, I'm too beautiful to drop the soap" Jack yelled as he used befall to bust a whole in the wall and ran through it; being closely fallowed by four of the elves.

"Damian, help me!" Zeo cried, reaching his hand out from the tightly clenched fist around him.

Just as Zeo had hoped, Damian grabbed his hand. Just as Zeo began to trust his teammate, Damian reached inside Zeo's sleeve and pulled out an iPhone.

"I knew you were holding out on me, and for that you can get beaten by elves!" Damian said, duking and dodging the elves as he ran out the whole in the wall Jack left.

"what the hell man! My iPhone!" Zeo yelled, as he watched Damian run down the hall being chased by the remaining free elves."Hey, do you think Santa will give me a new iPhone If I blow up Damian?" Zeo asked his large captor.

Just as Zeo asked this, the elf who had him walked over to the closet to release Santa. "You want an iPhone, I'll give you a iPhone" The fat elf said, spitting out a ball of chewed dead wasps and pulling out a pair of boxing gloves with iPhone glued to them "You'll get a good iPhone"

While Zeo and Santa Had a negotiation over apple products, Damian and Jack was still running through the halls of HD academy, and Faust had eaten enough a decided to go to Zeo's room and hide under his bed.

"I lost those beastly animals. Those Fat, ugly, and dim witted elves thought they could catch someone such as myself, ha those fools!" Jack said, as he walked into his room, but as soon as he stepped foot in the room he was knocked unconscious by a single fist; and then dragged outside HD too the police. Author note Sorry I'm later than normal, I got distracted from writing because I met someone at a park and me and him have been playing basketball for awhile, but that's no excuse. Any way I was tired when I wrote this so please forgive me if this isn't as funny as the last ones.


	7. Chapter 7

Author note

Hi everyone this is last the update I'm doing until like Tuesday or Wednesday of next week cause I'm going to my friends cabin this weekend. I will update my other beyblade fic before I go, but that's it.

It had been hours since Santa's special force had dragged out an unconscious Jack and a bloody sting ridden Santa. The only members of Starbreaker left inside were Damian, Who was making his way to the roof of HD; Faust, who had found very graphic magazines under Zeo's bed; And Zeo, who was roaming the halls in search of Damian.

"Were are the other three!" The head police man yelled at the group of elves who had brung Jack down"

"Calm your PMS down, they don't speak" Santa said, interrupting the man's fit.

"I need to calm my PMS?! We need to arrest those two boys and their very unattractive friend and send them to a juvenile correction center, but instead were stuck here talking about PMSing. The head of the police said, getting angry with every mention of a post menstruation cycle.

"Don't worry those butt licks are going to get theirs, as a matter of fact their going to get it now; look" The beaten man pointed at the roof of HD academy. There stood Damian, with kerbecs ready to be launch.

"If I can't enjoy Christmas, then no one else can! especially not Zeo, or those annoying girl scouts who threaten you unless you buy their crap cookies, or hipsters; I hate hipsters" Damian yelled, taking aim at a large Christmas tree in the middle of the city.

"PUT THE BEY DOWN, WE HAVE LEGAL PERMISSION TO POP CAPS IN YOUR ASS IF YOU CAUSE ANOTHER ACT OF TERROR!"

"As long as I don't get a room mate in juvenile or drop the soap in the shower My ass will be fine.

Just as Damian grabbed the launch cord, Zeo and Faust came bursting through the roof door.

"This isn't what Christmas is about!" Zeo yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Christmas isn't about revenge, or kidnapping, hiding wasps nests in a Jewish persons' desks, getting inappropriately touched in juvenile detention,homosexualy experamenting with your best guy friend, popping caps in someones ass, or finding your best friend under your bed looking through your "personal" magazines and "used" tissues, and it's not even about eating special cookies no matter how good they are. It's about making your friends jealous of your money, by buying big ass gifts and using those gifts to win someones love"

"That poor ugly little boy is right, we all should all be with our loved ones at home, showing off just how better our lives are than theirs with kiss my rich ass expensive gifts. lets go home everyone" The head of police declared, as the large crowd of police cars drove off and the by standers began to disappear into their homes.

Watching everyone leave to go home and enjoy Christmas infuriated Damian beyond belief"Wait why did everyone leave?!" Damian asked, with hate in his voice.

"They left to enjoy Christmas" Zeo said, walking over to Damian." That means every thing's the way it should be, everyone beside you can enjoy Christmas. And you failed to ruin my Christmas" Zeo now had a smug smile across his face.

"Hey Zeo, you like Hospitals?"

"No, why?"

"Your going to be spending Christmas in one." Damian calmly said, shoving Zeo off the edge of the roof top.

Seeing Zeo screaming in fear as he fell and eventually hit the ground made Damian feel a bit better."You know what Faust, this was the best Christmas ever. Damian happily said, as he and Faust began to walk to the HD kitchen.

"Hey where's Jack?" Faust asked.

"I don't know"

At the exact same time Faust asked about the red headed boy, said boy was being interrogated in a police station.

"Please, Don't send me to a detention center" Jack whimpered.

"Relax, you can go home, but you might want to know some doctor guy dropped off this gift for you" the man, said handing Jack a box wrapped in a bright red gift wrapping.

Jack tore through the wrapping paper and opened the box, but to his surprise was a hornets' nest and a card that said "_**The color red makes them angrier!"**_

author note

FINALLY I'M DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER. oh my lord this took hours of re writing and going over, but I'm done. next chapter wont be up till maybe mid next week.

"


	8. Chapter 8

author note

I'm making a pizza from scratch while I write this ^_^

It was new years eve, and in three hours it would be the beginning of 2012. Damian, Faust, Ziggurat and Jack were in Damian's room watching TV, they were watching music performances live from time square.

"It's a boy?" Faust uttered aloud, as the announcers on TV introduced Justin Bieber as he took stage.

"Yeah Faust, Justin is a guy name. No matter how much he looks and sounds like a little lesbian girl, he's a boy" Jack said, scooping a chip out of a snack bowl. ( I know Justin Bieber actually sounds like a deep voiced dude now, but honestly when Usher first discovered Justin someone who worked with Usher said they mistook Justin for a little lesbian girl in a interview)

"OK jack you wear eye make up everyday! I don't think you have the right judge how feminine another guy is" Ziggurat said, not taking notice to Jack taking offence.

At Least I'm not a thirty five year old virgin man whose only pass time is to stock thirteen year old boys, smoking candy cigarettes, and watching my little pony" Jack said.

"Wait whats wrong with me liking candy cigarettes and my little pony?" Ziggurat said, looking seriously pissed with Jack.

"Your a 35 year old man and should act like it. Go and Smoke your real lung killing, blood poisoning, cancerous cigarettes and go get a girlfriend and stop being a creepy old man whose only way socializing is with little boys"

"Non of that is true. And I watch those boys in the name of research!" Jack rolled his eyes at Ziggurats statement.

"OK future 40 year old virgin, you can tell yourself that" Jack said, as he ate more chips.

"I'm not a virgin!... I... I love sex!" Ziggurat yelled at the top of his lungs"

"I'm just going to stop you there before you make this anymore pedophileish than it already is.

"Pedo...phile, whats a pedophile?" Faust asked, looking at Ziggurat with curious eyes.

"OK I'm just going end your weird conversation now. Jack If Ziggurat gets a girlfriend she'll probably fat and ugly. Faust a pedophile is anyone who acts like Ziggurat. Now everyone be quiet" Damian curtly said.

"Why couldn't I get an attractive girl to like me?" Ziggurat moaned aloud to himself.

"You can get a hot girlfriend" Jack said, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder."As long as she's blind, suffers from brain damage, and has severe desperation."

"You want to know what I don't get, Why would a girl tell a guy to call her maybe? honestly It's either you want him to call you or you don't. Damian said, as he sat down on the leather couch next to Jack with a slice of chocolate cake. "And does Kesha ever take a shower cause every time I see her, she's like covered in dirt and glitter.

"She probabl-" Jack began, but was cut off by Zeo slamming open the door in a panic with a raven haired girl with him.

"Damian! It's the end an-" Zeo was caught of guard to see the members of his team were all in Damian's room celebrating the new year, without him. "Hey what are you guys doing?" Zeo asked.

"Celebrating New years, what I'm wondering is what are you and that future prostitute doing in my room?" Damian said.

"A hooker Zeo! I knew you were a sad excuse of a boy, but buying a cheap girl like that from behind a White castle? shame" Jack said, looking at Zeo and said raven black haired girl with shame.

"This is my girlfrie- whatever. It's almost 2012!" Zeo said.

"So"

"The world is going to end, the Mayans predicted it" Zeo's girlfriend said, taking out a news article she printed of a McDonald website, which had nothing to do with 2012 at all but a new burger."

"Hey Zeo is your girlfriend stupid?" Jack asked, disregarding the fact that the girl was still in the room.

"yeah ha ha... hey, Zoe why don't you go wait outside for a minute" Zeo said, slightly pushing the girl into the hall. Once the door had been closed Zeo continued." OK look she's dumb as those ex Disney teen stars, but she's like a 9 on a scale to ten so I can whatever she wants me to be.

"Zeo the girls has problems if she thinks the Mayans knew anything about astrology. Did you know the Mayans were the first people to use cocaine from the coca plant, so who's to say they just weren't high. (its a real thing)

"Hey Zeo the door won't open! I keep pulling it but it won't open!"

"Jesus Christ" zeo uttered under his breath."Push, you push it!" after another few seconds of watching the door shake, Zeo just opened it for her.

Just as Zeo opened the door, the new years countdown began. As the last few seconds until the new year came, Zeo was pretending to be scared.

As the count down ended and everyone began to cheer Zeo spoke"OK then the world isn't going to end, I"ll take you to my room Zoe lets go"

"But as Zeo said that the earth started to shake and random things began to blow up, including Damiano's floor"

author note

ya I made a Zeo date a stupid girl! review please!


	9. Chapter 9

Author note OK sorry I'm so late, but I just started high school at the #1 high school in Minnesota and the due dates of assignments are crazy strict. In my language class if I have one missing assignment I don't get a grade! How crazy is that. And all of the teachers are blind or something. Everyone uses their phones while the teachers are talking (including me sometimes) its so bad a kid in gym had his laptop, a bottle of sprite, and a rubix cube.

A few minutes after having fallen through Damian's room floor, Zeo had woken up to find not just had Damian's room destroyed in the quake, but all of HD and the city around it. "Oh my white American god, my dumb girlfriend was right?!"Zeo said, looking at the Debry and his awakening team members a few yards away. "Oh nice, Zeo's bimbo just made the worlds luckiest guess and the world really did end, and more importantly I lost my new damn eye liner." Jack said, looking through the piles of bricks and steel. "Maybe we'll get lucky and Zeo got crushed to death" Damian said, not noticing Zeo walking up. "Hey Jack, Damian, I saved my girlfriend from drinking toxic waste" Zeo said, pointing at the girl. "And I saved this Internet letter I magicked out of the Internet saying how the world was going to end in 2012 from my pocket" Zoe said, showing a Burger king add "No, no, Hun this says the Burger king is going to end the offer for the world burger in 2012, and you got this out of the waste" Zeo gently took the paper and threw it. "Do you enjoy being stupid. You must love it cause I can't think of any reason why someone would toxic waste" Damian said, pulling his cape out from under a rock. "I felt my boobs get bigger when I touched it though, and mommy told me before her parole officer took her away, that the bigger and perkier they were, the better life would be cause a guy would buy me stuff." "And Zeo is supposed to be that guy?! Ha! His family is so poor his parents got married just so they can catch the wedding rice" Jack said, in a laughing fit. "Wait if they could afford a wedding..." Zeo was cut off by a half plane half car landing. By the solid ground under their feet crashing in on itself.

Author note OK I need to get to bed cause I have a play call back with my friend Zoe(hint hint)


	10. Chapter 10

Author note

OK that last chapter sucked and I know it, Sorry.

Zeo, Jack, and Damian were stumbling backwards on the ground, trying to avoid standing on the crumbling earth. While Faust and Zeo's girlfriend stood still, poking at the ground.

The cracks that Faust was poking began to turn a bright red as Faust looked over at his team mates."Zeo, what does thi-" Faust began, but was cut of by an eruption of flames blasting out of the ground.

The three remaining members of Starbreaker sat on the ground as they watched Faust's burnt body fall into a pond of flames.

"Oh no Faust...!" Zeo screamed.

"No, I let him barrow the phone I stole from Ziggurat!" Jack cried out even louder than Zeo.

"My phone, No!"

"Zoe get away from there!" Zeo got of the ground and tackled the girl away from the burning body.

"Zeo I hit my head on a rock"

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I...I... can finally think right. I finally know what's going on around me. That white haired guy is dead, 2012 is real, and your friends with a red headed clown woman and a short douche bag! The girl said, with joy of her sickness being cured.

"I accepted I was douche along time ago, but at least I wasn't diagnosed with Dumb bitch syndrome" Damian said to himself.

"You cured my case of dumb bitch Zeo, let's passionately make out on the ground" The girl said.

"YEAH!" Zeo yelled, shooting up of the girl, but as he did a large boulder fell on the girl's head. After a minute of praising himself, Zeo finally took notice to the dead body."Oh well I loved her but you have to keep moving on"Zeo said before tripping and falling into the pond of flames Faust had fallen into.

"What the hells happening, There is no cure for Dumb bitch, Damian would never admit he's a big D bag and I never get to see Zeo get hurt cause I'm always somewhere else. Jack pondered.

"Oh wait I know!" Jack said, before setting himself on fire then blacking out.

"Just as I thought" Jack said, walking up in still in Damian's room."I need to stop eating so many of Zeo's holiday "special" fruit cakes, those things had me dreaming Zeo had a girlfriend."

"I do have a girlfriend" Zeo said from besides Jack, which cased him to smack Zeo."ow jerk, I do have a girlfriend. She's over there next to Fau...ahh...WHAT!?" Zeo shouted, noticing his girlfriend's lips all over Faust's.

"Shut up Zeo, your ruining my focus!" Faust yelled, throwing a rock at Zeo's head.

"Is he OK?" Ziggurat asked, watching a blood puddle form around Zeo's wound.

"Yeah he's just being an attention hoar cause his girlfriend left him."Damian said.

"OH OK, Lets leave Zeo and his bad attitude here to sulk while we go out for Chinese. Ziggurat took out his wallet.

"YEAH!"

"

"


	11. Chapter 11

Author note OK so I'm sorry cause I have to start updating like once or twice a week cause I'm always busy, but anyway this is a one chapter April fools thing.

It was April first, and the members of team Starbreaker were arguing over who gets to use the bathroom first.

"Zeo I will beat you and your inner child if you don't let me into the bathroom!" Damian yelled as he and Zeo bashed and threw each other into walls and down stares, unaware that Jack had happily strolled into the bathroom a few minutes after Damian hit Zeo with a Mac book air.

Ignoring Zeo and Damian, Jack started the shower. Jack washed to the sound of glass being smashed over a human skull in peace, until he felt a breeze behind.

"There's no window in this bathroom?" Jack turned around to see a whole in the bathroom wall, with Faust standing in it. In one hand he had a camera taking pictures of Jack and in the other a switch.

"APRIL FOOLS!" Faust yelled, hitting the switch and causing Jack to fall down a floor, landing in between on a couch in Ziggurats office, still naked.

"Jack, what a-" Ziggurat was cut off by Zeo and Damian kicking open the door. Zeo and Damian stopped malling each other to look at the scene before them.

"I knew it was a matter time until Ziggurat molested one of us! I knew it but I choose nit to say anything"Zeo said, before Get a chair to the face from Damian.

"So...are we going to do stuff or-"

"Get the hell out of my office Jack" Ziggurat calmly said, handing Jack a long shirt.

"April fools" Faust yelled down the whole from the bathroom. As he did a loud bang could be herd from the offices.

"Hey what was that?"Zeo asked, with his foot one inch from Damian's nads.

"God calling your ass to go toward the light!" Damian yelled, tasering Zeo's chest.


	12. Chapter 12

Author note

OK I'm back from my writing hiatus and I have something to show on FF. I'm going to leave a link to one of my YouTube videos. If you want to see it just look at my page. If you want to, you can leave a comment on the video or you can review this story with any options. The video is for fun and is in no way a promotional thing.

It was a quiet night. Halloween night actually and the dead silence is the result of Faust's pulling so many April fools jokes using poisons, gases, and explosives. Almost all of HD academy had been forced to evacuate the building until December. Unlike their everyone else, Team Starbreaker had been forced to stay in the health hazardous building. Zeo, Jack, and Damian were watching Friday the 13Th in the only room that was habitable; while Faust had been with Ziggurat for days.

"Now I be wondering where Faust and Ziggurat is doing" Zeo said, making his voice deeper than normal.

"What? What did you just say" Damian said curtly.

"What? I be wondering were they at" Zeo was trying to hold back his laughter , but was failing."I Shursh what Faust and Ziggurat are doing?"

"Why are you talking like that?!"

"Zeo watched some movie on BET and now he keeps trying to talk slang" Jack blurted, not wanting to hear Damian and Zeo.

"You have no idea how much I want to hit you at this very moment, and keeping myself from doing it is harder than winning a game of Victoria's secrets in their thong section. Zeo you don't sound cool at all.(That games hard! People who work at Victoria's secret have killer eyesight)

"Your just mad cause I have skills" Zeo said.

"Actually I'm curious to where they could be to" Jack said, with a yawn

. "They're probably out mugging over weight kids for their candy like last year" Damian said, turning back to the movie.

"Oh that's good, they're helping them fat'ss kids loose some weight" Zeo said, doing the same as Damian.

"I'm going to hurt you if you don't shut up Zeo"

Ten minutes went by until Zeo spoke again.

"Have you ever noticed how the only ones who survives horror movies are either ugly virgin girls or a mentally unstable?" Zeo said, as the killer shot a harpoon in a woman's eye.

"That's because its one of the rules of horror movies, the first to die has to be blond and stupid" Damian said, putting emphasis on blond.

"Or the most naked Jack added.

Zeo turned away from the screen and looked at Jack with interest

"What other rules are there?" Zeo asked with the intrigue of a five year old.

Jack and Damian instead of locking Zeo in the closet like they normally did when he was being a child, they started to list rules.

"Don't share your hiding place with your friend. If your in the closet and your friend comes by looking for a place to hide, lock it and pretend your not in it"

"If your home alone and you hear things downstaires don't go down the straire yelling, **is anyone there? **It's not like there going answer. What are they going to say, **yeah I'm in the kitchen making a burger you want one?**

"Keep your fat or clumsy friend with you, so when your getting chased you can out run the fat one or trip the clumsy and keep running.

"Fuck your friends if they trip and can't walk, leave them and go make new friends"

"Dora the explorer doesn't know what she's doing. Going exploring when you hear something outside is a mistake you can't fix with "killer no killing, killer no killing, killer no killing"

"And forget everything you learned watching Scooby fat ass Do, don't split up. If someone wants to split up let them, they can go one way while everyone else goes the other. To be simple never be alone or even in a small group."

"And now that we have gone over that, I'm going out get more food. Someone start the next movie while I'm gone" Jack spoke as he got off the couch, but was stopped on his way to the door by Zeo.

"You can't go by yourself, you'll get stabbed to death by a hockey player!" Zeo yelled, with his face unintentionally close to Jack's ear.

"I'm going to stab you If you don't stop yelling in my ear, and what can happen in a few minutes." Jack angrily said, pushed Zeo back a few feet and opening the door.

In the door way was a large figure holding Ziggurat by the neck. Ziggurat was beaten and mangled with blood all over.

"Something like that will happen" Zeo said, smiling with joy over being right.

Author note Speaking of Halloween I have my movie marathon planned and now I just need a recipe for rice crispy treats and i'm set.


	13. Chapter 13

Jack slammed the door. Hoping it hit both Ziggurats and the large man killing him. "So Zeo you remember that time I gave you a half a Mexican candy when we went to Mexico?" Jack asked, locking the door. "If you mean that time you gave me an illegal laxative bar and told me it was a Mexican candy bar, then yes" Zeo replied. "Mexican candy, or illegal laxatives, or whatever they both give you diarrhea so they're really just the same thing. I have I ever told you good talking slang?" Jack said, making an obvious fake friendly voice. "you know what you should do?" Jack wrapped his arm around Zeo's neck and walked him in to the center of the room. "What?" "You should stand right in front of the door, while I hide in the closet" Jack whispered, as if the man behind the door could hear him."If the dude breaks down the door, use your body as a distraction while I ran to the nearest busy street" Jack closed the closet door, concealing himself. "Oh, that's tight, I can do dat. Yo Damian were you at?"Zeo asked to himself, as he realized he was alone in a dark room. Just as Zeo decided to not let Jack get him killed and try to hide under the couch, the left wall of the room breaks open with a fiery bang.(one of those moments in the movie were even I have to jump up and say "If that was me I would have been half way to China in one second") "You bastards just going leave me here to die, Because you think your better bladers!" Zeo cried as the large man backed him into a corner of the room. "No we leav'n your ugly ass cause you annoying as fuck, and no one cares if annoying people die" Damian Yelled, jumping from behind the T.V and out the burning hole in the wall. "And I speak better slang than you!" As Zeo was against the wall, the closet door creaked open. "MAN I KNOW YOUR IN THERE!" The large man yelled, whipping a knife at the door. "Just come out of the closet Jack, I won't think less of you. Well I'll probably think more of you because this big guy would kill you and not me. SO COME OUT THE CLOSET!" Zeo said, scurrying through the pale man's legs and running around the room. "Jack?" The door creaked open to show a note on the door. The only writing on the paper was, rule 1)If the killer is distracted by your friend, leave them and make new friends.


End file.
